Today I was really hit by the fact that one of the hardest parts of parenting isn’t even in the same building as cleaning up bodily fluids or going upstairs to “fix the covers” for the 3rd time in 15 minutes.

It’s in encouraging the push for independence, and growth.

My wife sent me a snapshot of Allison before running her to her first day of pre-school. And I felt quite a strong bit of emotion. I am still not sure if it is reluctance, fear, sadness, joy or all of them pushed together.

Happy first day, Allison!

I guess getting old for me means my daughter’s first birthday. What a wonderful year. And an even better now. Happy Birthday, Allison!

When I was in college people would always ask me what I wanted, what my goals were. What I wanted to do when I grew up. I would tell them, “have a hammock.” Many would write me off as a weirdo and never talk to me again. The majority, would ask me, “What the hell does that mean?” Well clearly it is deeper than just owning a hammock, they are not terribly expensive, and if you really wanted to you could make one out of miscellaneous materials for probably around $30. So I explained to have a hammock and be able to use it, really use it. To have the freedom to wake up, hit the hammock with your library book(s) and your glass of lemonade and enjoy the outside and some reading for a good 8 to 12 hours. Obviously the way to achieve this kind of freedom is through having enough money to support this lifestyle. So really it is about freedom from the bill collectors and the massive debt incurred attending college.

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I was lead to the concept of continuous partial attention through an entry about email overload. I am very conflicted on this concept because, I know I am so much more productive when I can concentrate and block out the world. But I also have a tendency to load up my work environment with distractions. IM, email, RSS feeds. So on some level I want to get things done, but on another I guess don’t want to miss anything?

When I get into the flow I really get into it, I could go for days barely eating and sleeping because I am so focused on accomplishing something. I can only assume my embracing of distraction has to do with boredom, or not caring enough about the things I am purportedly trying to accomplish. This may be a good time to cast through my mind and find the things that send me into frenzied periods of autistic like concentration, and then find a way to pay the bills doing that. I do have some ideas.

Thanks to Chris & Jen, Michelle & I went to the Phillies game last night. They whupped the Braves, and our seats were ridiculously good. We sat in the first row of the section in left field. So I could throw things at Burrell if I wanted to. The only disapointment was that the three Homeruns that did go to left were either 1 section toward center, or way over our head, like the Andruw Jones’s 50th on the season, that one was a shot.

Anyway It was a nice evening out, and the seats were great. Although the Phillies continue to confound. Just when everyone gives up on them, they sweep the Braves. I had fun and even still managed to go to sleep too late.

If you are an avid reader, and want to see my book recommendations and reviews, check them out at Library Dweller. Also to get an idea of my goals for that site check out the first entry. I am looking for feedback, and suggestions for stuff I should read also, so either comment, or send me recommendations to mclazarus@gmail.com.