None of that biased, lying, garbage on Fox or CNN is news, this is:
Green Bay police are on the lookout for a monkey named Jasper, who they say isn't armed but might be dangerous. Jasper dashed out the back door of a tavern where he and his owner are regulars, Lt. Mark Hellmann said Monday. Hellmann described Jasper as small, dark and hairy, but didn't know what species he is. The police department's humane officer said Jasper may try to harm people if he's scared and advised anyone who sees him use caution.
Since the war is over,
we might as well pass around the soma and get back to our happiness.