What Bush will do if Re-elected:
Introduce the Protection of Adorable Children and Church-Going Families and Also Stick Michael Moore's Bulbous Ass In Prison Act of 2005
Well that's the only one of the things on that page I thought was funny, but there appear to be some other funny things on Shrove Tuesday (Observed). Like the New Air Safety Measures:
Proactive bullet to the knee of every 25th passenger